Instead of a day late and a dollar short I’m a day early and short much more than a dollar. I went into the maelstrom of the vaunted Santa Monica Farmer’s Market at 8:30 this morning. Yup. I’m an early riser. My son wakes up at 6:30 a.m. This morning, against my better judgement I went through a paltry set of waking exercises and then I was out, driving down Wilshire Blvd., the trusty iPhone on shuffle treating me to such hits as Koka Kola by The Clash, No Need to Come Back by Hans Zimmer (Interstellar Soundtrack) and Hippa to da Hoppa by Ol’ Dirty Bastard.

I can report there was good parking at this holy hour. A crisp but sunny day, the ocean blue as blue gets in the background. The cruciferous family members out in force this 18 January, 2023 like a standing army of sulfur laden Kardashians. But I wasn’t there to scope any of that nonsense. No, no, no. I was dedicated to finding one particular item, the ever elusive cherimoya. Down the long stretch of Arizona I hoped one farm would have them. Nope. Then another. Nope. The last hold out was of course the priciest. Apricot Lane Farms, a super boujee (yes the one from that documentary), small operation that never gives industry discounts but does have fantastic produce.

We turned the corner, sallying northward, past the insanely long line of people waiting for berries, and there, ah! There they were. Just a handful, but enough for our small bar program. Three pounds please.

What in the Sam Hill is a cherimoya anyway? Well, these little dragon eggs belong to the custard apple family, Annona Cherimola to be exact (if you want to be a nerd), but they’re technically not a custard apple. If you’ve never had one and don’t live where I do, then good luck finding one. Sorry, not sorry. They’re originally natives of South and Central America and will go down in history as the most pain in the ass type fo fruit to clean. They have seeds, lots of seeds, which are highly poisonous apparently, so you can’t just throw it all into a blender and then into a sieve. Oh no, you’ve got to go through these babies one by one and pick all the seeds out which is more tricky than it sounds. It’s a slippery situation.

The flesh of course, is worth it, especially with rum. And not just any rum but Hamilton White ‘Stache, an 87 proof blend from Guyana, Trinidad, and Dominican Republic we’ve fallen in love with. Cherimoya is great with cane spirit because it’s tropical and creamy. Add sugar, fresh lime juice and you’re off to the races.

A month ago we came up with this banger. One of my favorite drinks ever. Named after one of our regulars who ended up never actually tasting this one because he gave up drinking.

Donahue’s Quaffer

1.5 oz. White ‘Stache

1 oz. Fresh Lime Juice

.5 oz. Cherimoya Syrup

.5 oz. Bananum*

.25 oz. Rhum Agricole

Shake, strain over a BFR, mist with blackstrap rum, top with a torched lime wheel. Yum.

*More on this later.

Not to float my own boat here…But, how many bartenders are going down to the farmer’s market to grab some fresh cherimoya? I’m waiting. Who?