“Do you want to talk more about bartending?”

“No. Not really.”

“What about last night?”

“What about it?”

“It was really busy, right?”

“Yeah, I got slaughtered.”

“What does that entail?”

“Shaking lots of drinks.”

“C’mon, man, there has to more to it than that.”

“Ugh. I don’t know. I mean, yeah, there’s running out of glasses, people in your way constantly, waiters not knowing anything, bussers not saying ‘behind you’ when their hands are full, I could go on for hours…The worst is annoying people. I thought about a long list of questions not to ask a bartender, or any human being for that matter. I wondered why people ask these inane questions and I figured out it’s because they have nothing else to talk about so instead of sitting there in silence they rifle off a series of inquiries aimed at the person working in front of them. I have another word for this: A battering. It feels like I am being bludgeoned. It usually starts with, ‘How long has the restaurant been here?’ then evolves into, ‘How long have you been here? Do you live in Santa Monica? What else do you do beside bartend? Are you from here? Oh? What brought you to LA?’ I’ve been pummeled by this same interrogation for years. I find it fascinating that people want to know so much about a total stranger.”

“Maybe they’re just being polite?”

“Uh, no. Polite would be not to force yourself on someone in that way.”

“I think you’re being a bit too sensitive. No?”

“I don’t think so. In almost any other job you’re not required to give out your personal story to a total stranger just because they can’t come up with something interesting to talk about. Like, at a retail job or somewhere else where you’re face to face with a person.”

“That’s the job, dude.”

“Eh. Nowhere on my job description does it say I have to tell my life’s story time and time again. Also, how the hell do you know what the job is?”

“Well, I’m the counter to your angst. The devil’s advocate, the angel on your shoulder. Maybe it’s because they’re tipping you so they feel you should give them something back?”

“I thought you were supposed to be a person with amnesia?”

“I’m the counter to the dark, doubtful part of your psyche.”

“Now it’s getting really weird.”

“You’re telling me.”

“Maybe you’re just running out of things to blog about?”

“That’s very possible.”