Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you must have noticed an increased amount of UFO sightings over the last few years. In my opinion this is due to everyone having a camera in their pocket as well as those said cameras having increasingly better lenses. It’s been happening so much, in fact, the Pentagon has stepped in and told us that yes, these objects do exist and they’ve even given them a name: Unidentified Aerial Phenomena (UAP). Why is this important? Well, it answers one of the two great questions about life. One, what happens when we die and two, are we alone in the universe. The existence of entities from other planets prove we’re not alone. We’re still unable to confirm where the hell these things come from, however. It could be the government screwing around and it’s quite possible these creatures and their advanced technology existed here already (my theory)

It’s also important because, if you’re a curious person, you’d like to know the actual truth of what all this is about. As a whole, I’d wager to guess we all trust the government less and less these days. I mean, I’m not sure we ever really did, right? Ahem, JFK assassination, ahem. but wouldn’t it be nice to know what the hell is really going on? There’s got to be more behind these sightings than we think.

Listen, I don’t know whether or not this shit is real or an elaborate hoax and yes, I may have watched too many reruns of X-Files growing up but in terms of a hobby I’ve got to say it’s pretty damn fun. These days it’s hard to tell whether or not a good UFO video has been doctored up. I have yet to see one with my own two eyes. I have never seen a ghost either. I’ll remain skeptical until then.

My biggest blog related question is: What do Aliens eat and drink? They must need something in order to subsist, to power those big brains inside those oversized craniums. Are there bathrooms inside the ships or have they evolved so far they don’t have the need to pee? What would it be like to have a drink with one of these guys? Are they normal people with normal problems? Do they come home from a long day of appearing over cities and come home to their wives asking “How was work?” They don’t seem to wear clothing, so I guess they’re not a fashion oriented race. Experts seem to agree the reason why they stay away from us could be that they don’t find us all that interesting, that perhaps they look at us like a bunch of apes who discovered the means to fully destroy ourselves.

Will this end up being some sort of weird, actualized science fiction future? The fourth step in the series of industrial revolutions is to fully integrate technology into ourselves. Yes and before you start to say, “No, no, no” you’ve got to realize it’s already happening. Smart phones, along with all their foibles and benefits, have basically become our cybernetic brains. The next step is to infuse them into our bodies in some way. This is already going on to some degree. Before you say “No, I would never do that,” start to think about how hard it would be to function in society without your precious phone. Yes, it could be done, yes you could actually live without it but you would become a social outcast.

Where am I going with this? Well, my overactive imagination sees a future where we no longer have to carry cell phones around with us and alien races are present in our everyday life. Maybe they would have to wear pants to fit in, I don’t know. The bartender in me, of course, is curious about what they drink. In both Star Trek and Star Wars, bars and booze exist, but an advanced civilization would probably choose not to partake in what is basically a socially acceptable poison. Or would they? Maybe they’ve got some really cool infusions going on up there in those flying disks and if we learned to communicate with them, they would share some of them.

I can see it now: “Dude, check out this hootch I got from the guys on Sirius 2. It was inoculated with bacteria from the outer ranges of a black hole’s event horizon and left to sit. It got really weird when we passed through multiple wormholes to get here, really changed the structure, it’s less funky now but a lot smoother. Hey, what is milk punch anyway?”