Get it? First crack? Anyway. Many others have attempted. I never have. For whatever reason maybe I thought it was too much of a pain in the ass. But hey, 2023 is the year of Noyaux and I hit it out of the park on the first try. For those who are oblivious to the term, noyaux comes from the Greek for almond, but in kitchen and bar terms it means using up stone fruit pits that otherwise would be thrown in the rubbish bin. It was originally meant to be a term for almond extract I guess but I don’t know why they wouldn’t just call it almond extract in the first place. Yeah, the pits do give it an almond taste…Ish, but it’s more something of it’s own. I wouldn’t say it’s nutty but more like a weird non artificial flavoring you’d find in a candy bar.

In the picture above are just a handful of some roasted cherry pits. I asked the kitchen to save pits for me and found myself with a hell of a lot of side work. I like ’em nice and dark and roasty toasty. You can do it anyway you want.

The method is easy but labor intensive. Take your cherry or peach pits, etc. and roast them at 350 for fifteen minutes. This kills any chance of cyanide. Yeah. You read that right. You’d probably have to drink gallons of the shit for it to affect you in any way, but no one wants to take that chance. I sure don’t. Plus, the roasting adds more toasty flavor and makes the pits more brittle, thus easier to break up.

Here you go:

Take the pits, roast them at 350 for over 15 minutes.

Let them cool down.

Smash ’em up nice and gentle. I use a molcajete. I suppose you could use a robocoupe or blender but I feel like the pits will hammer the shit out of your blades. There’s a goldilocks amount of force to apply with your pestle smashing method. Too hard and the pits will shatter and spray everywhere. Too soft and nothing will happen. Duh.

Get ‘er done. Remember that guy?

Up above you see the pits all nice and pounded out and in a jar awaiting liquid. All you have to do once you’re here is add high proof booze. I use the good stuff from Poland, Spirytus Wesoly, it clocks in at 96% alcohol. If you can’t find something quite so radioactive, use cheapo 151 rum.

Let it all sit and soak in there as long as you want. A couple of weeks should be ok. Don’t forget to agitate it everyday. I love the word agitate. When you’re ready, strain it all off and add equal parts water and simple syrup. If using the Spirytus, this formula brings it down to 64 proof or 32% booze. The same ratio with 151 makes it an almost even 50 proof, or 25%. It depends what you want from it. Do you want something to drink or something that’ll strip paint that could possibly make you go blind? Choose your own adventure.

Once you add the water and simple syrup, let it sit a little longer to mellow out. You guessed it, the longer it sits, the better. A week should suffice. Imagine Van Damme palm striking your belly. That’s how good it tastes.