There’s a select group of cocktails that sell like the proverbial hotcakes of yore no matter what. This is one of those cocktails. The Cure. Not named after the damnable emo band. Sorry. I think the original name was supposed to be some sort of pun on getting married. I can’t remember the whole thing. It’s early, I didn’t sleep so well last night. We’re doing an event today, a wedding, and all I could think of last night was all the things I would probably forget. That’s what you get for not being a list maker. I’ll sleep when I’m in the grave. Anyway, oh yeah, the cocktail name, uh, shit it just came to me and then left again. My train of thought derailed. Whatever. It can be “the cure” for what ails you. That’s good enough.

We had all the cool regulars in last night. T&E (sort of like T&A?), Rye Guy, Big Willie, many others. It was also my last night working with JM which really blows. He’s one of the more solid dudes I’ve met. He came by and said “Nice working with you,” we shook hands and that was that. In terms of seeing people come and go throughout the years, I always think of that line from Dazed and Confused, “They keep getting younger, I stay the same age.” Except I’m not thinking in lecherous terms like Matthew McConaughey’s character, David Wooderson. It’s more like, goddam, I’m old as shit. Each new person they hire is young and looks at me like some sort of weather beaten stone artifact.

T&E gave me a nice pep talk last night about the book. Big fans these guys. It’s nice to feel supported. Thank you so much, you two.

Oh god, what else? On the heels of that support, I received my very first first rejection for The Seasonal Bar this morning.

Dear Justin, 

Thank you for contacting __________ about representation for THE SEASONAL BAR. Unfortunately, we are unable to offer you representation at this time. Due to the large number of submissions _____ receives, she is forced to be extremely selective when considering new clients. After reflection, we don’t feel that this is a perfect fit for _____ list. Publishing is very subjective, however, and another agent may well feel differently. That said, you are welcome to submit to another _______ agent.

I sincerely apologize for the impersonal nature of this reply—we receive hundreds of submissions a month.

Thank you again for thinking of ______. We wish you all the best of luck in the future.

Best,

______

Oh well. At least they took the time to write a nice letter. That feels good.

Let’s make a nice summer drink. If you can find Weiser Farms melons, especially the sugar cube variety, buy as many as you can carry. They’re the orange ones with the ethereal flavor. Don’t you dare use shitty store bought melons for this cocktail. Remember, the tiki gods are always watching.

The Cure

1 oz. Blanco Tequila

.75 oz. Fresh Grapefruit Juice

.75 oz. Fresh Sugar Cube Melon Juice

.75 oz. Lee’s Backyard Lime Sherbet (sweet limes)

.5 oz. Pamperol

.5 oz. Rooster Rojo Pineapple Añejo

.25 oz. Fresh Lime Juice

Short shake, strain onto BFR, top with a small one finger pinch of Maldon salt and give it a well slapped mint sprig for aroma.

This is a MEGA QUAFFER. Lots of juice. I have no idea how it all fits into a rocks glass. Same recipe as last year but with a touch of the old Rooster Rojo. So good. One of the only brands I’ll hawk, and no I’m not a rep…Although I’d like to be. Hey Rooster! You out there?

Oh wait, what’s “pamperol?” Ha. You’ll have to stay tuned. I’ll give you a hint, it’s not the liquid strained out from my son’s dirty shit diaper.

And oh again, the original name came from a pun on cantaloupe. Like a person who “can’t elope” because they’ve got some sort of problem with marriage. So I’m almost positive the original name was “The Indecision Cure.” Yeah, pretty terrible. Believe it or not, the names of these damn things count. No one ordered “The Indecision Cure,” but “The Cure” soars off the shelves like pink panties past the knees.