Some profound thoughts upon waking this morning…Just gonna go full stream of consciousness here…Not much of it pertaining to my jobs, cocktails, buildings, all of that. I stretched myself a bit, wanted to write something with meaning about the cocktail world but the problem is that it isn’t profound…Cocktails aren’t life changing but not much is. Shit, maybe I should be working doing something more worthwhile. I don’t identify myself through what I do and this is either fortunate or unfortunate for what we do is supposed to do this in some way because we spend so much time doing it. But yes, it really is the difference between a job and a career but much more so. I’ll admit I’ve been listening to the Kanye West tune, I Wonder, a bit too often. It’s catchy around this time of the year when the reset comes. I’m not too much of a believer in the new year, it’s just another day technically, but it really is a time to reflect and try and retrain the mind for something else. For instance, I started this blog last year as a bit of a fluke because my whole writing routine changed. I used to go to Bluey’s every morning at 8 when they opened and wrote until 10…I did this for two years straight and finished 4 first drafts…fucking A…Things changed in January…I stopped going to the coffee shop to save a few bucks and spend more time with my family. I began doing this blog and said I’d do it for just 90 days…That turned into six months and then I said fuck it, I’ll do it for a year…The last couple of months however, have been a bit of a grind. I have a touch of the old OCD when it comes to certain things like keeping routines and this has been one hell of a challenge. I’m almost there. I think I started this on January 6, 2023…I missed a few here and there and so I’ve got 18 or 19 posts left to make an even 365. Yeah, at times I have no idea what to write about especially because there’s times we’re not doing a whole lot at the restaurant. The inspirations for new stuff wax and wane. We do have some cool shit going on as much as possible but I can’t have something going on seven days a week. I would have to concentrate all of my energy on the bar program and even then it would be hard. Shit, I finished the first draft of the cocktail book this time last year, I came close to being published a couple of times and now I’ve slacked a bit on it but once I’m finished with the blog it will be full force toward that and another project I’ve wanted to complete for some time now. The blog was originally intended to help give some kind of legitimacy to the book, to show that I wasn’t just some weirdo but I think it only served to show I’m a real weirdo…Maybe that’s good. What the hell was I saying originally? Oh yeah…I think I woke up this morning really focused on themes like maybe the cocktail book could be something other than just a cocktail book. I mean, let’s face it, cocktail books aren’t the most literary things out there, not that I want mine to be like that, I think I’m just looking for some sort of metaphor. The cocktail and what it actually represents. It’s a fleeting thing, the drink. It has dangerous potential when abused, it has magical properties when respected. It has to be enjoyed within a few minutes or it goes to shit. Without it, yes, the world would be less fun but it also has very little meaning…Maybe that’s not entirely accurate. Maybe I need to look at it from a more Japanese perspective. The strive toward perfection that will never come to fruition yet is a necessary component of life. Yes, at least I have found what my calling is. My old life coach called it the “higher purpose” and that some find it and some don’t. It’s different from your purpose in life which is to take care of your family, take care of yourself, etc. If you’re lucky enough you can meld your purpose with your higher purpose and merging the two is the road to contentment. First you must define what it is and then you must pursue it. I’m one of the lucky ones in this regard. Since I was five or so I’ve been a writer, an artist. I’ve always known what I’ve wanted to do. My problem has always been the other stuff, the self sabotage, the distractions. Shit, my whole damn life has been this. Striving for something, so many damn ideas circulating with no discipline or time to do all of it. When I had the damn time I didn’t do it and now that I found the discipline, I have no time. Life is like that. Maybe because I have a family who depends on me is the reason why I found the discipline. Shit, I can’t be a bartender forever. I keep thinking about what the hell happened and how this trajectory went so awry but it actually didn’t. If you really want to get Buddhist, you could say this is exactly where I’m supposed to be. Where else would I be? Changing the trajectory…Who the hells knows what the future will bring? All I know is to follow my gut. Keep writing. Something will happen. Back to the cocktail. It’s more than just a way to soothe your troubled soul. It brings people together, lowers their inhibitions. When used right, it is the first and primary opener into a great meal. Without it, it would be like a ballgame without the National Anthem. Maybe there’s a better metaphor there somewhere…Like sex without kissing? Hmm. No. I’ll get back to it. Yes, it may be an arbitrary, inconsequential thing, but most things are and it’s these little things in life that add up to make it worthwhile. New Year’s resolution? Remember to take more pics for the blog…