Some bar managers are smart and they don’t name cocktails because it’s a bit lame and it actually adds additional work. If you’ve never had to do this, refrain, as it is sometimes not so easy. The cocktail name has to reflect something to do with the drink…Most of the time…A story, a quip, a joke, even, ugh, a bad pun. Sometimes I love naming a good quaffer and other times it’s painful…But, but, some of the great ones are remembered. Some dude that looked like the poor man’s Jan Michael Vincent (prime version) came in the other night and asked for a Corn Identity. “Sorry dude, but corn season’ll happen again in June or July,” I told him. “But I really loved you in Airwolf.”

So anyway, here’s a list of drink names I’ve been compiling for the last few years that I’ve kept in my phone notes. Some are pretty goofy, some are just plain lame, some could be used at some future endeavor. None of these were ever used…I guess they never made the grade…There’s a million more in the list that were made into cocktails however…But I left those out…

From the top:

Humdinger

Parking Karma

Darn Tootin’

Hip Hugger

Goldblum

Ghost of Maria

Steve ______(Stevia cocktail)

Frazzled

Apple Cracky

Abra Cadabra

Necromancer (Corpse Reviver offshoot)

Offshoot

Ball and Chain

Inigo Montoya

Off Kilter

Ladybird

Dixie Moon

Gin Soaked Boy (Tom Waits song)

Gun Street Girl (Tom Waits song)

Dimple Pinch

Side Piece

Dad Joke

Yes Whey Bro

Repeat Offender

Filigree

Comfortably Rum

Hometown Hero

Fixer Upper

Heaven Can Wait

Yellow Belly

Kid Dynamite

Supersonic

Slipstream

Death and Taxes

Silverado

Quicksilver

Oh Yeah!

Rookie Move

Pro Move

Sharing is Karen

Father Thyme

Daddy Issues

Blumpkin Spice

Porn ‘Stache

Fair to Muddling

Shandy Rooney

Take it Easy

Mumbo Jumbo

Melon Degenerate

Mojo Rising

Supernova

Last Straw

You Enjoy Myself (Phish tune)

Nothing Fancy

Big Chugger

This One

Shameless Flirt

Tried and True

One for the Road

Liquid Midnight

Lee’s Feet

Model Citizen

Bro Hug

Best of Both Worlds

Maladjusted

The Reluctant Angeleno

Lee Rising

Best Intentions

Siempre Mas

The Tao of Lee

What He’s Having

Lee was a Debutante

Have Another

Holding Court

Royal Lee

Broken Promises

Snake Venom

Fender Bender

True Colors

Mansplain

Husky Schmuck

Coco Loeb

Chic Vibe

Beck and Call

In the Furnace

Point Break

Clap Back

I Shall Finish the Game, Doc

Eyes without a Face

Jailbreak

Comic Relief

Sweater Weather

Total Quality

Quality Champion

Codename Hardhat

Xanadu

Anti Hero

Checked Out

Posterity’s Sake

Jort Report

Eastern Standard (R.I.P)

Undertow

And yes, I’m running out of steam, time and ideas for posts here…