Or is it for Rudy? Someone told me there was an episode of some TV show where all the characters cried while watching Rudy. Yes, the soft side of a man comes out during the viewing of this movie where he’s allowed to show his emotions for the underdog, the downtrodden. It’s just ingrained within us to shed a few after witnessing the trials and tribulations of Rudy Ruettiger but in actuality it has nothing to do with the story at all. No, no, no. It all comes down to the performance of Sean Astin and whether or not you have Goonies and the Lord of the Rings trilogy buried firmly in your skull.

Here’s a timeline for you. Astin was born in 1971. The Goonies appeared in 1985. Rudy in 1993 just 8 years later. And then in another 8 years? The Lord of the Rings…Which was 23 years ago…Feel old yet?

You see, Rudy came out in 1993 and no one saw it. No one cared. That’s why it’s called a “cult classic.” It’s something that becomes popular long after its birth. The Hollywood execs hate this because it means they made no money from the initial release of the movie. The movie’s budget was $13 million and it made 22. So, a profit of 9, not terrible but also not great and those numbers prove my point, that not many people saw it during it’s inception. I sure as hell didn’t…I was just a dipshit kid at the time…Still, with movie prices at $4 in 1993 it means around 5.5 million people saw it during it’s release. That figure hovers around the population of countries like Ireland or Norway, so take it anyway you like.

For all the power it holds over sentimental saps like myself and most men over the age of 40, Rudy gets just as much hate as it does love. It rates a mere 77% on the Tomatometer but the audience score is 90%. That should tell you something right there. Yes, the haters use words such as “predictable” and “cliche” in their descriptions and there’s multiple articles written in an attempt to make us feel bad about liking such a heart warming tale. The two titles that immediately came up during a Google search were “Rudy is Bad and People Who Like it Should Feel Bad Too,” and “Why you Should Hate Rudy, the Real Worst Sports Movie Ever.” I guess the writer of the latter article never saw any of the crappy football movies from that era such as Necessary Roughness. Come to think of it, there seems to be a lot of football movies in general. From Remember the Titans, to Jerry McGuire, to Friday Night Lights and all the way down to Varsity Blues, The Waterboy, The Longest Yard and of course, the guiltiest pleasure of all, Any Given Sunday.

Here’s the point if I may be so bold. So, as a child of the 80s and 90s, you already have much love for the character of Mikey, played by Sean Astin, in the timeless, The Goonies. Shit, I still watch it every couple of years and certainly plan on having my son watch it when he’s of age. We’ve got Astin etched into our brains already, some time goes by and then all of a sudden we get the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Holy shit yes. And who is it that plays one of the greatest characters not just in fantasy literature but also on the silver screen? Yes, Sean Astin as the fiercely loyal Sanwise Gamgee. Rudy in his essence, is Samwise transported to a working class town with no real future, no Frodo Baggins to protect. I mean, if Ned Beaty isn’t the real world version of the Gaffer than who is?

If you were like me, somewhere in the timeline Rudy came on late at night in the zone of history before all this streaming nonsense became a thing. A generation when we all had to wait for our favorite TV shows to come on at a certain time and hour, a magical era when people sat around tables and spoke to one another instead of all being fully absorbed into their phones. Anyway, our brains all made the same connection. Hmm, what’s this? Rudy eh? Oh? Sean Astin? Mikey. Cool. Sure, I’ll give it a shot. And that was it. Rudy oh Rudy we love you so. We love an underdog story even if laid out with an extreme amount of ham and cheese. Yes, from an analytical standpoint the movie’s beats are predictable as all hell and the actual story of Ruettiger has little to do with the movie itself, in reality he was probably a massive douche, hence the small print, “Based on a True Story.” But the haters can go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. They’re soulless and my guess is they never fell under the spell of an essential watch like The Goonies at a young age. At any rate, my whole thesis is that without the other movies no one would give a shit about Rudy.

Everyone Cries at Rudy

1.5 oz. Mezcal

1 oz. Fresh Lime Juice

1 oz. Uruk Hai

.5 oz. Strawberry Syrup

.25 oz. Chamomile Tea Syrup

4 Dashes “Fresas Viejas” or Aged Strawberry Shrub

Special thanks to Liam over at Playa Provisions for his help on this one. He came in on my day off the other night, drank one and told me “This cocktail fucks.” Not sure what that means but I think it’s a good thing.

Your AI generated image for this post, #395, on Sunday, August 11, 2024.