I love the burn. The singe. The tingling scalp, the mopping of sweat from the brow. The stinging lips, battling my own constitution, summoning up that last ounce of gumption to put down another bite and wondering if I could possibly have another or if I should give up, call it quits, drink some milk, eat some bread. Hot peppers, man. There is no other sensation akin to them in the food world. Pain, pure pain, that’s what they do to us, that’s why we love them for it and there’s major levels to the game. They’re that toxic lover some of us can never get enough of and always go back to. They separate themselves from the pack because you have to train your senses and mouth to actually eat them. You can’t just come storming out of the gates as a novice. You have to build yourself up, start with the neophyte, wimpy level stuff before tackling a heavy hitter.

There’s a succession, a cliche of sorts where we all start. You’ll usually go from a stray hot fresno, maybe some red pepper flakes at the local pizzeria or jalapeño to something like a serrano where the burn goes deep and you face the stark regret of your culinary decisions–a burn that seems neverending. We’ve all been there and most never go back after experiencing a severe jolt of capsaicin, the technical term for the bioactive compound found in varying levels in peppers which binds to the tender tissues in your mouth and causes actual pain. But some of us have that darkness. We feel the heat and want more. We build up, we continue and then somewhere along the road we encounter a habanero and it knocks us back down to the amateur ranks again.

Habaneros are hot, real damn hot, too damn hot in fact. They will always be a problem because they have great flavor, in my opinion the best in the pepper world except maybe the cherry pepper. So, the big question is how to go about extracting said flavor without burning the living shit out of people. You could always go the habanada route. Yes, there is a type of modified habanero pepper out there with the flavor but no burn, hence the “nada” but what fun is there in all of that? The chefs like them but to me it’s like sex with condoms which is probably why I have two young children torturing my sleep.

At the beginning of each fall I ask chef to order me some habaneros and then set forth on the journey of what the hell to do with them. Over the years I have learned some hard lessons which I will share here with you. The biggest and best is to never prep them without gloves. Yes, I did this one year and went to the loo and experienced a burning sensation in my nether regions for three days. That’s no joke, son. There’s a reason the 5-0 use pepper spray.

Anyway, the best thing to do is put them all in a bowl, put on gloves, take the stems off (save the stems, we try not to waste shit here, remember?), and then just lightly crush the habaneros with your hands and put them in another bowl. This takes way less time than cutting them up. And no, I use the whole damn thing, the pith, the stem, the flesh, the seed. Let’s go.

Sugar Ferment

Once I have them all prepped up, I weigh them and add sugar to them in equal parts by weight. I let them sit for one day, then stick blend ’em up a bit and allow them to sit another couple of days, sometimes longer.

Shrub

After they’ve sat, I push them through a chinois to extract the nice juice, then add, by weight, 25% apple cider vinegar. This is now a shrub we use in one of our cocktails, The Right Decision. It’s also nice to have a non-alcoholic method of adding spice to drinks. The shrub gets better with age and lasts indefinitely.

Bitters

You’ll have some leftovers here. Take half of them and throw them in a jar with the highest proof grain spirit you can find, some dehydrated orange slices (we have so many all the time and we’re just trying to find a way to use them and orange literally goes with everything), a couple of coffee beans, the aforementioned stems, and a bittering agent of your choice (we use gentian). This can now sit for a time but is best if allowed to go at least two weeks. Great way to make your own spicy bitters.

I call mine Phlegethon Bitters after the river of fire in the underworld of Hades, in Greek mythology.

Jam

With half of the half of the remainder you can make yourself a nice jam that you can give to your enemies as a gift. Just puree hell out of it and add some vinegar or do not. Your choice. Goes good on toast with cream cheese. Not for the faint of heart.

Infusion

With the final portion of leftover habanero, stick it in a jar with some vodka, put it on a shelf, and let it gather some character in the form of dust. How does this differ from bitters? Well, for one, it’ll be way less concentrated so once you bottle it you can use small amounts of it. Two, there are no bittering agents involved. Three, the proof is much lower. Our vodka is 80 proof (40% ABV), our neutral grain spirit of choice is 192 proof (96%). The lower proof also extracts less flavor in the same amount of time.

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