The Aging Bartender

Category: Service Musings

  • A Day in the Life

    By 3:00 p.m., five days a week, I’m walking through “Sunshine Alley” between 11th and 12th and in the back door of Rustic Canyon. Upon entrance, I see the prep guys, three, sometimes four of them squeezed into the narrow back part of the kitchen where they work on one long stainless steel table. I…

  • Post Service: 10.8.23

    Awake. No milk in the fridge. Sister in law on the couch. Squeezing my hands to pump out the fatigue. Are you supposed to wake up tired? Did this happen to our ancestors? Slight inflammation possibly from bread maybe just from gripping tins and shaking over a hundred drinks while under pressure. A short staffed…

  • Service Musings: A Moment of Life and Wisdom Gleaned from Being Deep in the Shits

    Ok…Let’s see here. PGA Tour thingie in town. Check. End of year high school and college graduations aplenty. Check. Two new managers on the floor. Check. Newish host. Check. Chef out sick. Check. Second bartender out sick. Check. Mega amount of reservations. Check. Yup. Good old Murphy. We love you so much. Luckily I smelled…

  • Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions: Bar Edition

    A little history here if you didn’t rot your brain reading Mad magazine when you were a kid. Al Jaffee. Nuff said. He was the dude who wrote and drew Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions and he also did the Mad foldovers on the back inside cover page. He died at the age of 102…

  • Insanity on Wednesday Night: 4.12.23

    The hits keep on coming. Fellow bartender, @ordonorulez dm’ed me this morning, saying “No more feces touch for you!” Yeah, I guess not. We had a guest chef sort of thing last night…Ish. Abra Berens from Granor Farm in Three Oaks, MI. She just came out with a new cookbook, Pulp: A Practical Guide to…

  • Post Valentine’s Day Report: 2023 Edition

    There’s no other “holiday” more hated than Valentine’s Day by the service industry worker. Why you ask? How do I put this the right way without sounding ungrateful, bitter, jaded, hateful, and downright evil? Well, first, there’s a lot of pressure. Huh? Isn’t it the same as any other night service? Hahahahahaha. No. The management…

  • Until the Wheels Fall Off

    An old friend stopped by last night, a dude my age in the same boat. An artist masquerading as a restaurant worker (or maybe it’s the other way around). Married. Kids. Feeling the residual angst and weight of having worked in a restaurant for decades. Tired. Body failing. Wanting out, but unfortunately good at what…

  • That Time I Was a GM: Part Two

    Behind my back, Jorge and the owner of the restaurant staged a coup against me. I was unaware, but they planned to hire a new GM and then shitcan my depressing ass. I had no aces up my sleeves. I did suspect some sort of foul play, however. For the interim, while they strung me…

  • That Time I Was a GM: Part One

    I sing of the general manager. The herald, the poor, unappreciated, downtrodden soul. Cracker of the whip. Builder of the schedule. Bearer of much weight upon troubled shoulders. The one with the forced smile whose ear bends to all the complaints in the restaurant issued from staff both front and back, guests, other managers, owners.…

  • The Tiki Gods are Crazy

    Two middle aged women at the bar last night. Old friends who last saw each other six years ago. The first wanted tequila, the second, well, very undecided. The conversation went much like this. “This one, the Not Too Sweet, is it good?” “It’s ok if you like to drink vodka.” “I have no idea…

  • Bartender as Therapist

    “A good bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.” -Albert Einstein Regulars comes and go. It’s all part of it. People move, the menu changes, drinking habits disappear…there’s a multitude of reasons why people don’t come in to see anymore (you stop ordering their shitty liquor). I work in a neighborhood restaurant bar,…

  • Service Musings: 1.7.23

    There’s a point in all our lives (at least I hope) where we look at what we’re doing and wonder what the hell happened. How did I get here? What twisted path led me to Santa Monica? A rich stew of regret and wonder, of awe and bewilderment. I’m just a dumbass kid from Vermont…