The Aging Bartender

Rhubarb is a Pain in the Ass (and other life lessons)

Above you see a mixture of pureed and cooked rhubarb. Mush. It seems through either old age or cockiness or just pure idiocy, I forgot the face of my father and tried to put rhubarb in a blender. I think it’s because I still have PTSD from trying to juice it two years ago. The…

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  • Rhubarb is a Pain in the Ass (and other life lessons)

    Above you see a mixture of pureed and cooked rhubarb. Mush. It seems through either old age or cockiness or just pure idiocy, I forgot the face of my father and tried to put rhubarb in a blender. I think it’s because I still have PTSD from trying to juice it two years ago. The…

  • New Cocktail: The Corn Identity

    You’re welcome to use the name in your corn cocktails. There’s a bunch of others available too. The Corn Supremacy, The Corn Ultimatum, and The Corn Legacy. In terms of action movies with lots of sequels, the whole Bourne thing got tiring at the end but the original three are pretty damn good. They’re certainly…

  • Farmer’s Market Loot: 7.27.23

    Quick post this morning as shit is real hectic right now. Bunch of stuff, almost too much stuff. Nectarines, apricots, mouse melons, blueberries, and some rhubarb. Most of this is already being used in some form. Well, two out of five. The rhubarb, mini melons, and nectarines not so much. As I tried to prep…

  • The Feces Touch is Strong

    “I’m like King Midas in reverse. Everything I touch turns to shit.” –Tony Soprano Yesterday, I came in from my two days off. Let’s recap. I’m moving to another part of the city, it was my son’s birthday, the restaurant is a little slow, I sent out another book proposal and am waiting to hear…

  • Cocktail of the Week: The Martinez

    We had a couple in last week. The guy (who looked eerily like Samuel Beckett) showed up first…with a Rubik’s Cube that had 36 squares on each side instead of 9. I guess you’d call it a 6x6x6? He placed it on the bar and of course I asked to mess it up to see…

  • The Mysteries of the Pyramids

    Every so often it’s late at night and you find yourself deep diving into one of the, if not the, most fascinating and perplexing mystery of the ancient world. I’m speaking about the Great Pyramid of Giza here and in my case it was last night until one in the morning. The documentary was Revelations…

  • Bar Hack: Alcoholic Atole

    I’ve been an admirer of the non-acoholic Mexican street drinking culture for some time now. Yeah you heard that right. There’s a whole world of cool, traditional, more savory bevvys they do with a large amount of it based off some variation or incorporation of chocolate, corn, tamarind, cinnamon, clove, vanilla, piloncillo (unrefined cane sugar),…

  • Requiem for Quato Lives

    Months of outstanding tiki cocktails culminated in Quato Lives. A simple but ultra delicious bevvy where I used the humble, misunderstood, and seasonal loquat with housemade spiced rum, and good ol’ coconut milk. Oh, and bananum. Denise suggested to finish it with a spritz of blackstrap, and voila, hall of legends status. Never underestimate the…

  • New Cocktail: Clueless Angel

    I was describing this one the other day at pre-shift and afterward, Chef Fox muttered something to the tune of “Something fresh and something sitting around.” I can’t remember his exact words, but whatever it was it seemed to sum up the whole Rustic Canyon ideal. Take a seasonal ingredient and if you can’t use…

  • Bar Hack: Sesame Oil Washed Bourbon

    So what you’ve got to do is find yourself some muppets and lure them into the biggest jar you can find, then pour in the booze and close the lid…Oh wait, sorry, wrong blog. This one is about fat washing. Yeah, I know, old news, big yawn, but sometimes, like in the present sesame case,…

  • And the Michelin Award Goes to…

    Above you see a dazzling swizzle from Kato‘s Austin Hennelly with amazake (not sure if it’s housemade or not, no idea where you would buy it) coconut milk, masala chai, fresh lime juice, Spuma Nero (a bitter chinotto soda) and almond orgeat. It also looks like we have the gratings of some lime and something…

  • How to Make Sauerkraut

    Not much to report here. A couple of days off on Sunday and Monday and zero interest in thinking about cocktails. Yesterday morning I was texting back and forth with my friend, Dante, about what I eat for breakfast, at least my ideal breakfast. It starts with a good half cup of homemade sauerkraut. Yeah,…