The Aging Bartender

Father’s Day 2023

Up early to pee. 7:12 a.m. sharp. A quick diagnosis of the aches and pains of the morning. The outside bottom of my left foot…Quite puzzling–potential emergence of gout? The outside of my right knee, the lateral collateral ligament (LCL) feels slightly sprained. Something is going on with the tendons in my left bicep. A

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  • Father’s Day 2023

    Up early to pee. 7:12 a.m. sharp. A quick diagnosis of the aches and pains of the morning. The outside bottom of my left foot…Quite puzzling–potential emergence of gout? The outside of my right knee, the lateral collateral ligament (LCL) feels slightly sprained. Something is going on with the tendons in my left bicep. A…

  • New Cocktail: Quato Lives

    Yeah, I changed Kuato to Quato. So what? Let’s focus on the why. First off, fresh loquats, then kumquat scraps. After making sort of fermented kumquat-vanilla syrup there’s a bunch of waste leftover. This went into several different areas. There’s some shrub, then some infusion confusion vodka/pisco concoction but also a little Old Fashioned Traditional…

  • Service Musings: A Moment of Life and Wisdom Gleaned from Being Deep in the Shits

    Ok…Let’s see here. PGA Tour thingie in town. Check. End of year high school and college graduations aplenty. Check. Two new managers on the floor. Check. Newish host. Check. Chef out sick. Check. Second bartender out sick. Check. Mega amount of reservations. Check. Yup. Good old Murphy. We love you so much. Luckily I smelled…

  • Bar Hack: First Attempt at Corngeat

    Yeah, corngeat. It tastes just like whey syrup but without the dairy. I may have unconsciously veganized my own cocktail list. I remember A.D. doing all sorts of cool shit with corn and koji. Corn is a funny one. It’s used for so many things. Think about it. The wrong feed for cows, whiskey, tortilla…

  • Cormac McCarthy

    Like the blurb says, the above picture is from the dust jacket photo from Blood Meridian, 1985. It was the first McCarthy book I read. Handed to me by my ex-girlfriend, N. It was one of those deep winter relationships that lasted just until spring. The woman, not the book. You’d have to live in…

  • New Cocktail: Sunshower

    South of the border tiki? Why the hell not? This one comes directly from the young brain of Mr. Martinez. A special he ran on my days off. It contains all his favorite ingredients. Sunshower 1.5 oz. Rooster Rojo Pineapple Añejo 1 oz. Fresh Lime Juice .5 oz. Orange Curaçao .5 oz. Cachaça .5 oz.…

  • Late Night at Ralphs

    Yes, fellow Angelenos, I’m sure at some point you’ve heeded the call and ended up at a 24 hour Ralphs at some point. Oh yes, the despair, the hilarity, the drunken fools you’ll see! For those of you living in other, less pre-apocalyptic places, Ralphs is a lower-mid grade grocery store on the LA food…

  • Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions: Bar Edition

    A little history here if you didn’t rot your brain reading Mad magazine when you were a kid. Al Jaffee. Nuff said. He was the dude who wrote and drew Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions and he also did the Mad foldovers on the back inside cover page. He died at the age of 102…

  • New Cocktail: Swan Song

    The plum honey was ready yesterday so I decided to put this on. Not entirely happy with it quite yet but here’s something odd…Angel and I burned our taste buds out last week trying the high proof noyaux. All week the tip of my tongue has been sensitive and when I try anything with alcohol…

  • Notes on Bukowski

    The two of us were introduced by my friend, Ryan LaRoux. It was a party on a hill overlooking the Winooski River. My friend Sean and I had this older dreadlocked dude, Island, living on our couch. Island was a wanna be reggae singer who played the melodica and he invited us to go to…

  • Bar Hack: Salted Plum Honey

    Fruit is weird. Salt with strawberries is a big no no but with plums we’re talking next level delicious. This one is cool because it’s easy and I’ve always found plums difficult to work with maybe because I’m not their biggest fan. Out in the real world, I don’t buy or eat them. I’m a…

  • Bar Hack: Sour Amazake Pistachio “Orgeat”

    Bar Hack: Sour Amazake Pistachio “Orgeat”

    I’ll preface this by saying I don’t really know what I’m doing. Yes, I read the damn book, Koji Alchemy, and yes, I understand why it’s happening, but a lot of this is just throwing a bunch of shit at the wall and seeing what sticks. Long story short, Koji is a fungi, aspergillus oryzae.…