Big shout out and thank you to every single awesome regular who decided to come in last night when I had no barback…Sarcasm aside, it was nice to see everyone, even the guy with the big hair…The real question of the morning is, who is this Murphy guy and why is he always right? A typical Wednesday with a barback and we’re slow, without one and we’re busy. That’s how it goes. That’s Murphy’s Law which of course no one mentions when everything goes right…

His real name was Edward A. Murphy and he was a captain in the Air Force, an engineer working on a project studying the amount of deceleration a human being could handle. This was in the 1940s at the same base where Chuck Yeager broke the sound barrier. They were strapping dudes into rocket sleds, firing it up and then slowing it down, sometimes getting these guys to pull 40 Gs on the slow down. Sounds a bit like my night last night. Slow, mobbed and then slow again, my body, brain, and sanity experiencing yet another adrenaline fueled push through a service where I questioned all my choices to that point. I wonder how many of these I have left, if it’s good for me or to what extent it’s slowly whittling down my nerves to nothing. In my old age will I be a soulless, mindless, uncaring fop who exhibits no emotion because I’ve exhausted my adrenalin reserves? Or will I be the old guy in the nursing home who gets his younger pals (Angel, Denise) to smuggle him some decent rum so he can make daiquiris and throw late night cocktail bashes with the other codgers? Hint: the latter. Think: Cocoon but with more rum.

Back to the subject, after detecting a faulty wire, Murphy mumbled something about the blundering co-worker saying, “If there’s any way to do it wrong, he’ll find it.” The project manager already had a list of “laws” and added this to it. The rest is history as they say. I find it fascinating that it’s lasted this long and has spread out into the mainstream, but I guess good sayings will do that. Here’s a few other mainstays off the top of my head:

The Golden Rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated.

If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Nothing improves with age.

Beauty is a light switch away.

Everything is temporary.

The best way to hold someone is with your arms.

Sexual intercourse is like kicking death in the ass while singing.

I refuse to join any club that will accept me as a member.

The six Ps: Prior Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance.

Cheap, Fast, and Good: Choose two, lose one. If something is cheap and fast it won’t be good. Fast and good won’t be cheap. Cheap and good? Won’t be fast.

Never argue with a woman when she’s tired…Or rested…

I can resist everything except temptation…

Some cause happiness wherever they go, some whenever they go.

I’ve got the idea for a cool cocktail, a couple of them actually. Rum is involved. We’ll see what happens. I’ve got to get to work on The Seasonal Bar now. I’m a bit bummed because someone just published a book called…The Seasonal Cocktail. Find it here. Also, the author looks legit. From what I can tell from just glancing, it seems he goes through the actual seasons whereas I go through the fruit seasons. Ugh, who knows anymore? Life has been a little crazy lately and I haven’t had a whole lot of time to focus. I do think our program is totally unique and if anything, bare bones compared to others which bolsters our creativity because it limits us. I don’t know anymore. Chef Fox asked me last night if I wanted “Fancy glasses” and I said I didn’t know and didn’t have anywhere to put them anyway. Maybe the angle here is the “Little Bar That Could” kind of a thing with musings about the, ulp, decades, I’ve been in restaurants. I guess I’m unique in that way. Dishwasher to prep to cook to sous to server to GM back to server to bartender. It’s been a hell of a journey through, let’s see…Yeah, not just cocktails and techniques, but stories, humor, and of course…darkness. Not too dark of course, but I think it’s one of the things the average cocktail book lacks. I mean, c’mon here. This is alcohol we’re talking about. It’s a double edged sword. It provides such joy and misery. And while we’re on the subject, restaurant work in general has the same threads. No one went to school to be a bartender or server (I hope not, at least). You sort of end up there because you needed a good job where you can make great money and then you realize you’re trapped and can’t leave because wherever you’d go you’d have to start at the bottom and make really bad money for long periods of time under fluorescent lights in front of a computer screen where you’re sitting all day and having the life slowly sucked from the marrow of your soul.

I tried working in an office and being a normal person once. Didn’t work out so well. Got real depressed being ordinary. Hey, that might be a good intro.