Yes, we use a lot of sherbet around here. Sue me. If you’re low tech and want to make the most of your citrus then you should do this. Why? Because it’s fucking delicious. Jeez. Don’t ask dumb questions. This is some bartending 101 stuff here. Take a pile of your fave citrus, peel, add sugar, wait. The result is a delicious, aromatic sludge. The sugar leeches the natural oils present in the citrus peels. The fancy term is oleo saccharum. Yes, oil sugar. To make sherbet (sher-butt) you add back equal parts of the chosen citrus’ own juice. Still there? Thought I lost you for a moment. Pay attention.

I have no idea why this particular concoction is called sherbet in the cocktail world but in the pastry world it’s pastel ice cream. There’s little information out there about the distinction. We just need to accept certain things and move on.

The big issue with anything using apples is the juice oxidizes quite quickly and turns a tacky brown. No worries, I’m here for you.

Let’s begin. You lucked out today because I actually remembered to take a decent amount of pictures for this one.

Pile of lemons.

Peels.

In order to get it all going it helps to muddle a bit. Also good for your frustrations in life if you have any. Smells really really good.

You can let it sit for an hour or a day. The result should look like the pic above but like life, it’s not always going to get all nice and gooey. I read a blog a long time ago and they only used four lemons and got a perfect oleo out of it. Head scratching ensued. I’m calling bullshit here, but we also use organic lemons which seem to have less oil. Maybe pesticides bring more oil out of the citrus? No idea. Anyway, the more the merrier. Some recipes even advise to use equal parts by weight peels to sugar which in my mind is a little extreme but do your own work. Some citrus like yuzu gives off an insane amount of oil.

Anyway, you’ve got your nice little oleo situation going on and now you’ve decided it’s time to add a little apple juice.

Set up your Champion juicer like so. The anti-browning secret here is to put some (1/4 cup per pint) lemon juice in your little juice catcher cup. Yeah, that’s it dude. You can go by volume like me or by weight. It makes a little difference but not much. Do I have to tell you to put another, larger implement by the bunghole of the juicer to catch the discards? Ok. Put another, larger implement by the bunghole of the juicer to catch the discards.

Once you combine the whole shebang (oleo saccharum, juice), cook it at the lowest temperature for the least amount of time possible. I hate applying heat to any syrup but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Yes, the kitchen was hoarding all the four quart pots so I had to use a two. I advise not doing this if you’re spastic and have a difficult time stirring. Me? I’m fine over here. No splashy.

Strain it off with your trusty chinois. You can reuse the peels if you really want to, like add them to an infusion or dehydrate them, but we’ve already done god’s work here.

And here we go. A beautiful, tangy, golden hued syrup awaiting some sort of booze in order to help some poor soul drink their problems away.

Ok, ok. I know what you’re thinking. What do we do with all the scraps leftover from the juicing process? C’mon man…Did you think I’d leave you hanging?

I find these nubbins beautiful. Seasonal, fresh turds shat out by Dionysus himself. It’s better to have a bit of a fire lit under your ass here so your little apple mash stays fresh and not a nasty, oxidized looking brown, gross mess.

Throw your scraps, trim, whatever into a jar with some alcohol. I did this with mezcal but feel free to use whatever you want. It’s your life. I also added some guajillo chilis and dried orange slices.

Did you know Johnny Appleseed was a real person? Neither did I. I always thought he was some hokey kid’s tale but no. I’m not in the mood to paraphrase, so go here if you want to learn more.