I have no idea what it is but people love themselves a little something whipped on top of a cocktail. Maybe it hearkens back to the old Blowjob shots from the 80s. Never had one? Well…Amaretto, Bailey’s float, sometimes Kahlua sometimes not, and then whipped cream from the canister. A dark but necessary time in cocktail history starting in the 80s when the introduction of high proof, cheap peach schnapps led to the Fuzzy Navel cocktail which took the drinking world by storm and led to all sorts of other drinks named after lurid activities because hey, that’s what tends to happen after you’ve ha’d a few at a bar and the inhibitions have been properly lowered. If you are not aware, that decade spawned such quaffers as Sex on the Beach, Red Headed Slut, and of course the Blowjob which was a shot you were supposed to drink off the bar top with your hands behind your back. The good old days.

God, I wish I had been in my twenties during the 80s. I mean, let me paint you a picture here…Double digit interest rates in the banks, MTV, no cell phones, no social media, Madonna, Michael Jackson, Bill Cosby, Ozzy, heavy metal, the synthesizer, The Smiths, all fairly decent music, really good cocaine imported by three of our former presidents…No wars at all really, just a few conflicts and minor bombings here and there. Yeah, a time of peace and prosperity where we had no idea what horrors lurked around the corner…Fortunes were made and the dollar was strong, yet forget about a decent cocktail. You would have to fast forward to the mid 2000s for a Penicillin, unless of course you just wanted a bourbon neat.

At any rate, the whipped float perseveres. The trick is to make it a little less sweet or not sweet at all. You can just whip up some coconut milk and call it a day if you choose, or you can take it a little bit further. Your choice.

Here we go.

500 grams Coconut Milk or Coconut Creme (better)

500 grams Whey

200 grams Your Choice of Syrup (in this case I used green mango 1:1)

200 grams Lemon or Lime Juice depending on your spirit

9 Gelatin Sheets (or equivalent in powder)

This one is pretty easy.

1. Throw your gelatin sheets into a bowl of cold water for about ten minutes until they become a blob of protoplasmic former pig hoof delight
2. Add the whey, sweetener, and juice to a pot
3. Cook over medium heat for five minutes or until it comes up to about 200°
4. Stir in the gelatin, it should dissolve within a minute
5. Allow to cool, then stir in the coconut milk/creme
6. Once incorporated, add to an isi whipper or equivilant and blast with 2 CO2 catridges
7. Shake the hell out of the whipper and contents
8. Voila

The problem here is if you allow this to cool in the fridge it becomes, let us say…Jello, and you will have to break it up, stir it up a bunch before putting into your isi whipper. Otherwise it is fine and you can go ahead and make a bunch of this ahead of time, put it on your menu and then hate yourself for putting it on the menu because you are in the weeds and then have to empty one of these puppies and do a new charge while getting pummeled in the well while the waiters and managers stand at the podium leaning and laughing. Ha ha. Yes, they are laughing at you, bartender. Ha ha. Look at them. They are clean and shiny. Yes, there is a reason why they turn their backs to you while you bust your ass. It is because you enjoy working your butt off at your odd craft. You long for sticky hands and a pair of cheap shoes to turn black in a matter of weeks. For aching elbows and those nights of R&D where you no longer really taste what you were trying to pull off. And ah, the weirdo sitting in front of you talking talking talking while you are struggling to remember a dozen different drink orders and recipes. Or, oh god, the solo quiet talker in front of you who won’t stop. You see their mouth moving and you nod yet have no idea how they have gotten this far in life without anyone telling them to please speak the fuck up.

But anyway, the whip looks cool.

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