Category: bar hacks
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Bar Hack: Cochelery
No, this isn’t some strange, debaucherous new festival out in the middle of the desert, its a weird blend of ingredients that taste pretty good when shaken up with other ingredients. There are days when the lightning bolt of desire has been outlanding the ability to put together a cohesive cocktail. Many failures as of…
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Bar Hack: Double Fermented Lacto Plum Honey
To start this all off…I’m not sure you can actually “double ferment” an ingredient or if that’s even a thing. On one side it seems that if an item is fermented, it stays fermented. On the other side, why can’t you just keep adding ingredients that subsequently continue to ferment? Anyway, each year we add…
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Bar Hack: Whelk
No, not Lawrence Welk, you ninny. Whelk, as in 1 part whey and 1 part condensed milk. Our kitchen makes a lot of fresh cheese so we’ve always got plenty of whey hanging around and waiting for something to happen. The other part of the equation, condensed milk really needs no introduction. It’s a gift…
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Bar Hack: Uruk-Hai
Saruman’s fighting Uruk-Hai. Berserkers. A larger, stronger, more intelligent species of hybrid ork with no weakness, for they could exist the sunlight unlike their brethren who shied away from the day. In the Peter Jackson movie they’re magical and spawned in these weird, slimy mud cocoons. Their true origin, however, in the Lord of the…
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Bar Hack: Blueberry “Kvass” Syrup
Put a very clean on a scale and zero out your tare. Add blueberries, whey, the weigh, then add 2% salt. So 1000 grams of bloobers and whey would be 20 grams of salt. Next, wait. Thats it. We’ve been doing this a lot more lately…Maybe it’ll be our next cool thing that no one…
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Bar Hack: Lacto Raz Lime Juice Syrup
Looking for ways to utilize your old lime juice? Look no further. I came up with the realization the other day that you can use other liquids other than water for your lacto fermentations. Why not right? Well, I had no idea if it would actually work. I’ve had a serious case of the feces…
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Bar Hack: Cape Gooseberry Clarified Punch
I think the first question is: What the hell is a gooseberry? Right? These odd little suckers pop up every so often with no rhyme or reason. Bright orange balls that most avoid because they’re foreign and taste strange. Hey, we like that. How to use them? Look no further, your friendly neighborhood aging bartender…
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Bar Hack: ‘Cello
No not that cello, you ninny. All the relatives of Limoncello. You know, yuzucello, orangecello, and so on and so forth. It’s all pretty easy but you will need a few choice tools and potent liquids in order to get the most out of this season’s citrus harvest–a zester, a big old glass jar, lots…
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Bar Hack: Apple Sherbet
Yes, we use a lot of sherbet around here. Sue me. If you’re low tech and want to make the most of your citrus then you should do this. Why? Because it’s fucking delicious. Jeez. Don’t ask dumb questions. This is some bartending 101 stuff here. Take a pile of your fave citrus, peel, add…
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Bar Hack: Pecan Beer Nuts!
Ho ho! What else strikes such mindless craving in your regulars and ignites within their troubled souls a fiendish lust for sugar, fat, and salt? Beer nuts! Say it again! This time with gusto! Raise a toast to all that is holy and unholy and kneel to the king of bar snacks. Are you a…
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Bar Hack: Apple Sherbet
Ah! If you want to piss off anyone not from the U S of A, there really is nothing better in this world than to use the good old red blooded American measuring system. Cups, pints, quarts, gallons…Our current pastry chef, a German fellow, shakes his head everytime I intentionally pump up the proverbial volume…
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Bar Hack: The Fennel Salt Conundrum
When you do a search for “flavored salts” online, a bunch of stuff comes up and most of it involves taking the said ingredient and placing in salt for a few days. Although this may work because the salt literally sucks the flavor out, I aim to think a little differently in order to really…
The Aging Bartender 