The Aging Bartender

The Modern Dionysus?

Thousands of years ago, the Greeks called him Dionysus, the god of wine, fertility, festivity, madness, song, frenzy, etc (they all go hand in hand), in other words, the god of self destruction and rebirth. He continues to reign in today’s day and age due to people always wanting to listen to music, get drunk,…

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  • The Modern Dionysus?

    Thousands of years ago, the Greeks called him Dionysus, the god of wine, fertility, festivity, madness, song, frenzy, etc (they all go hand in hand), in other words, the god of self destruction and rebirth. He continues to reign in today’s day and age due to people always wanting to listen to music, get drunk,…

  • Movie Review: The Lighthouse

    There’s certain movies that are tailor made for a sick son of a bitch like myself. The Lighthouse is one of those movies. The sophomore production from the outstanding and twisted writer/director Robert Eggers, whose first movie was The Witch–a terrifying slow burn about a puritan family scraping away an existence in the woods back…

  • Restaurant Review: Community Goods

    There’s a new/old “restaurant” model going around these days. The pick up counter. No bathrooms, no waiters, nowhere to sit really. The big one to me is no waiters because they’re genuinely just awful and annoying to deal with. A necessary evil of having to own a restaurant…But the newish model is to just exclude…

  • Release the Kraken: A.K.A. What the Hell is Buddha’s Hand?

    One of the stranger “fruits” you see walking around the Santa Monica Farmer’s Market will be the Buddha’s Hand Citron. Yes, it counts as citrus even though it has no seeds or flesh to speak of. It’s a tale of mostly just oils and pith here which makes for a head scratching moment…What to do…

  • Farmer’s Market Loot: 12/13/2023 -Guava Time!

    Oh lordy lordy hallelujah. Guava is finally here. The SoCal seasons have been a little off this year…Climate is changing…Everything seemed a little pushed back and simultaneously squished together…Bah, no matter…When it comes, it comes…And there’s almost nothing that comes harder than a guava. The scent of it on the cool, crisp salt wind in…

  • Bar Hack: Pecan Beer Nuts!

    Ho ho! What else strikes such mindless craving in your regulars and ignites within their troubled souls a fiendish lust for sugar, fat, and salt? Beer nuts! Say it again! This time with gusto! Raise a toast to all that is holy and unholy and kneel to the king of bar snacks. Are you a…

  • New Cocktail: Incantation

    Incantation: A series of words said as a magic spell or charm. Sometimes you hit the bullseye with only one shot. You sweep the playoffs, you pitch a shut out. In bartending terms it’s when you nail a somewhat difficult cocktail on the first try. Yeah, believe it or not, sometimes the feces touch is…

  • New Cocktail: Bishop’s Blood

    If you can’t name a cocktail after the venerable Lance Hendrickson character from Aliens you’re simply not doing it right. Also, if you’re unaware of the reference you should probably go watch both Alien and Aliens back to back and then skip over the…Let’s see…One, two, three, four, five, six? Sequels? Well, prequels too. Jesus,…

  • May All Your Ups and Downs Be Between the Sheets

    Everyone must have a go to toast in their back pocket…And if you’re a halfway decent bartender with any gumption at all then you’ll have at least two good ones in your repertoire ready to blast out at a moment’s notice. The above toast is my go to and there’s only one half assed other…

  • New Cocktail: Going Nuts

    Our new GM, Joey Lee, came up the other night and said, “Hey, I think we need a stirred seasonal on the menu.” Ok. Once again, however, I had a tough time thinking of a decent name that would be kosher for the menu. All the ones my sick mind conjured, were not suitable for…

  • Falling from Grace

    It was a bit of a miracle that I even got a job at Rustic in the first place. This was back in 2015 and my first couple of months in L.A. was a complete nightmare. I had so much experience but no one wanted to hire me. I also flubbed a bunch of job…

  • Thoughtful Usage Comes Down to more than just Produce

    More thoughts. I was brought up in my public schools, good ones, to be cognizant of the environment. We learned about recycling, reducing our waste, etc. and the narrative of our generation was that we were the ones to issue change in the world in regards to how we treated our planet…Yes, this was Vermont…Fast…