The Aging Bartender

Requiem for the Fatty Crab

I wear a stained t shirt that drives Jo crazy. It’s too small, there’s a giant oil blotch right in the middle, it only accentuates my ever growing dad bod. We have a rule now where I’m not allowed to wear anything stained or with a hole in it but this one remains. My old

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  • Requiem for the Fatty Crab

    I wear a stained t shirt that drives Jo crazy. It’s too small, there’s a giant oil blotch right in the middle, it only accentuates my ever growing dad bod. We have a rule now where I’m not allowed to wear anything stained or with a hole in it but this one remains. My old…

  • Facing Down the Banquet Hall Bar (A Wedding Rehearsal Survival Guide)

    Last night, faced with a dire cocktail situation, I drew a total fucking blank. Yes, I’m talking about the dreaded banquet hall bar. The people behind the scenes obviously didn’t read my post from a few months back, The Eight Bottle Bar. They went 7/8. Pretty close to my recommendations. But can you spot the…

  • The Lost City of Gratitude

    My first thoughts this morning turned to my previous post. A bit snarky, poking fun at people, and a part where I ranted a bit and seemed ungrateful for my lot in life. Well, I’m here to tell you, that’s not the case. Maybe I woke up feeling a bit sappy, the wind knocked out…

  • Insanity on Wednesday Night: 4.12.23

    The hits keep on coming. Fellow bartender, @ordonorulez dm’ed me this morning, saying “No more feces touch for you!” Yeah, I guess not. We had a guest chef sort of thing last night…Ish. Abra Berens from Granor Farm in Three Oaks, MI. She just came out with a new cookbook, Pulp: A Practical Guide to…

  • New Cocktail: Splitsville

    I’ve officially named this part of the season, “The Inbetween.” Slow, shitty weather, no stone fruit yet…Basically just super depressing. Yay! But, but! There is always a silver lining if you dig through the dismal thoughts, crawl through the sewer pipe to salvation. Slowness means more time for experimentation. Oh yes, there’s all kinds of…

  • 97 in a Row…

    This blog began out of necessity. On January 4, 2023, I started writing at home instead of at the local coffee shop in the mornings. This was partly to save money ($5 a day adds up) and mostly to be a help around my son, (who is a total hellion) so Jo, my fiance, was…

  • Obscure Cocktail Alert: La Louisiane

    New Orleans is well known for what I call the stellar stirred, the Dynamic Duo. Two of my favorite cocktails of all time. The Vieux Carre, a simple, split base mash up of a Manhattan but with the addition of Benedictine, a French herbal liquor, and the Sazerac, (the official cocktail of The Big Easy)…

  • New Cocktail: Nobody’s Fool

    A lot went into this cocktail, ingredients, not thought, and like all the good ones…It just sort of happened. The ingredients were there but it was entirely unplanned. A love child born of all kinds of weird shit…Scraps…Different cocktails…Infusions…Luck…Timing…And one of our all time favorites, the Be somebody. Yeah, when you come up with a…

  • The Florida Stint: Part 8

    Continued from Part 7. Upon starting at The Grand Central Cafe, I was given an actual cotton chef’s coat. That made me feel a little better. The job itself however, was a far cry from my upbringing at Sweet Tomatoes, my first real kitchen. The entire concept of Grand Central revolved around a giant conveyer…

  • New Cocktail: Double Impact

    This one spawned from a past favorite, the Triple Lindy, in addition to the seasons just not wanting to change fast enough due to all the crazy weather here in Southern California. Hey, there’s almost always going to be nice tomatoes like these little sun gold suckers. I thought about what made the Triple Lindy…

  • Slow Nights Force You to Contemplate Your Terrible Life Choices

    Yup. Slower than death last night and the regret monsters really climbed into my head. How did I end up here? What the hell am I going to do with the rest of my life? Am I going to be here until I’m 60 years old? For whatever reason I thought about my old roommate,…

  • Farmer’s Market Loot: 4.5.23

    Strawberries…And more strawberries. Yes, the old purple cauliflower caught my eye yet again at the market but I didn’t possess the cajones to pull the trigger. Someday…At any rate…Not much else was available. Still lots of citrus. By this time last year we had cherries. The crap weather has extended the season by a country…