The Aging Bartender

Notes on the “Y” Peeler

I sing a song for the bartender’s bestest pal, the Y peeler. The people’s champion of the bar. Without you, friend, we’d be lost. Yes, some bartenders choose to swipe instead of channel and the typical fruit shavers of our forefathers are just no good when we need that sweet, sumptuous peel to grace the…

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  • Notes on the “Y” Peeler

    I sing a song for the bartender’s bestest pal, the Y peeler. The people’s champion of the bar. Without you, friend, we’d be lost. Yes, some bartenders choose to swipe instead of channel and the typical fruit shavers of our forefathers are just no good when we need that sweet, sumptuous peel to grace the…

  • Notes on the Cocktail Garnish

    How is it I can roll my eyes at one stupid garnish but love another? Such is the magnificent duality of life, my friends. For instance, I see anything with a clothespin on it and I’m walking out without paying but if I order a bloody Mary or bloody Caesar there better be some sort…

  • Bar Hack: Mint Syrup

    As a budding bar manager who detested muddling, I tried everything under the sun or at least as much as my feeble brain could muster–infusing the mint into the tequila, pureeing mint with simple syrup, etc. All the techniques I used produced a great result…For a day or so, and then everything went brown. Yeah.…

  • Notes on the Hemingway Daiquiri

    A quick google search for “Hemingway Daiquiri” will bring you plenty of information on Papa’s supposed creation along with a plethora of different specs. I say “supposed” because no one really knows whether he really invented it or not. It’s mostly legend. There’s an entire book about his favorite drinks. Hemingway loathed sweet drinks, he…

  • Cocktail Doldrums

    The rain and cold weather here has disrupted everything. Up north, where the farms are located, the sheer amount of water and even snow in some places has halted any notion of an early stone fruit season. The farmer’s market has been pretty malaise inducing as well. Bright colored citrus orbs, varieties of cauliflower, and…

  • Not Too Sweet!

    “This cocktail you have here on the menu, it’s not too sweet is it?” This question comes up just as much if not more than, “This dish on the menu, is it good?” Sigh. Yes, it’s my job to be nice in the face of idiocy. My interior monologue segues right into my childhood training,…

  • Bread, Butter, and Honey

    The glories of gluten. Man oh man. I’ll be the first to admit I have a major weakness for it. My childhood diet consisted of gluten with heaping sides of sugar. It’s no wonder I was such a little shit. But alas, in old age, it’s started to wear on me. It’s become more enjoyable…

  • Restaurant Review: Kappo Miyabi

    I’ll be the first one to admit I find Japanese cuisine mystifying and would rather keep it that way. This is a good thing. I know little about it, and there’s so many aspects, nooks, and crannies. Hey, some things in life should remain shrouded in mystery. You can’t know it all. I first tried…

  • Bar Hack: Spicy Phlegethon Bitters

    Lo! Where would Southern California be without the spicy margarita? For those unaware, in other parts of the world, the spicy margarita is both king, queen, and jester here. Yes, it’s a bit basic but also delicious. Salt or no, it matters not. There’s a reason why the classics still have punching power this far…

  • Dry Bartenders?

    It’s happening more and more. Bartenders choosing not to drink in order to live a more healthy lifestyle. It makes sense. I mean, if you look at us a certain way we’re drug dealers. It’s just that our drug of choice is readily available pretty much everywhere, socially acceptable, and dressed up quite nicely for…

  • Bar Hack: Calpico and the Birth of Beelzebubba

    You can’t deny the greats: The White Russian, Egg Nog, Mudslide, Ramos Gin Fizz, Brandy Alexander, oh and let’s not forget clarified milk punch. Yeah, dairy. What is it about dairy that keeps us coming back for more? Where would we be without it? A sad life without cheese and butter. A long list of…

  • My First Real Kitchen: Part Seven

    Finale! That day’s service carved itself into my brain like drunken teenage lovers etching their initials with a pen knife in tree bark, illustrated like the perfect how to manual on self discovery. All of a sudden, I meant something. I had purpose. I could be taken seriously. A possible career on the horizon. Forget…