Post Valentine’s Day Report: 2023 Edition
There’s no other “holiday” more hated than Valentine’s Day by the service industry worker. Why you ask? How do I put this the right way without sounding ungrateful, bitter, jaded, hateful, and downright evil? Well, first, there’s a lot of pressure. Huh? Isn’t it the same as any other night service? Hahahahahaha. No. The management
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Post Valentine’s Day Report: 2023 Edition
There’s no other “holiday” more hated than Valentine’s Day by the service industry worker. Why you ask? How do I put this the right way without sounding ungrateful, bitter, jaded, hateful, and downright evil? Well, first, there’s a lot of pressure. Huh? Isn’t it the same as any other night service? Hahahahahaha. No. The management…
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New Cocktail: Bloodsport (2.0)
I’m sure you’re thinking to yourself “How can I incorporate blood orange into a cocktail?” Hate to break it you, but Blood orange blows. Zero flavor, less even than OJ (the juice not the man). Flabbier than the underswinging flesh of my grandmother’s triceps as she waves goodbye. Despite this, people see it on the…
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Farmer’s Market Loot: 2.12.23
Not much going on at the old farmer’s market these days. Still thinking about a cauliflower cocktail. How would that work? Fresh, pureed fresh cauliflower syrup? Gross. Hmmm. That may actually work. What else does cauliflower go with? Raisins. Cardamom. Almonds. Oh damn. Eat your heart out, Nico de Soto. Koji rice fermented almond and…
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New Cocktail: Hungry Eyes
I’ve been meanin’ to tell youI’ve got this feelin’ that won’t subside I look at you and I fantasizeYou’re mine tonightNow I’ve got you in my sights With these hungry eyesOne look at you and I can’t disguiseI’ve got hungry eyesI feel the magic between you and I I wanna hold you so hear me…
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My First Real Kitchen: Part Three
Confused? Feel left behind? Ketchup. Part one is here. Part two is here. The rest of my first day went the same as any other dish shift I had worked at any other restaurant. I watched through the window as the lunch crowd came in and sat. Couples old and young. Business people. Going out…
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My First Real Kitchen: Part Two
Let me start part two by saying I had been in plenty of “real” kitchens already, this was just the first one that really meant a big deal to me. Not a chain, great food, an actual chef, etc. Continued from yesterday’s post. I arrived at 6:45 a.m. The stillness of the early morning speaking…
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My First Real Kitchen: Part One
I had already worked in a half dozen kitchens before I turned 21, even one where they let me cook the food. But there was one I still view as a huge benchmark, a place with an actual trained chef where everything was made from scratch. Of course, none of it was a walk in…
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The Most Alcoholic Professions
Someone had to think about it. I had a textual conversation with my GM about our favorite ass flashing regular from this past Saturday and we spoke about how certain professions seem to be more prone to being booze bags than others. Most of this is no brainer territory but quite interesting nonetheless. And yes,…
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Siesta!
Yeah, most cities in Spain take a nice break in the middle of the day. The times vary but most businesses are closed for at least two hours. This will dawn on you, as it did to me, stepping out onto the Spanish streets, walking around a bunch, getting hungry, then hangry, and realizing nothing…
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Full Moon Saturday in Santa Monica
I got to see a grown man’s buttocks last night. Twice. Now, I have been know to practice proctology as a pastime, but I’ve been neglecting my homework and due to my own laziness haven’t been following up on all the latest medical jargon and scientific articles. So, excuse me when I’m unable to properly…
The Aging Bartender 