The Aging Bartender

The Most Alcoholic Professions

Someone had to think about it. I had a textual conversation with my GM about our favorite ass flashing regular from this past Saturday and we spoke about how certain professions seem to be more prone to being booze bags than others. Most of this is no brainer territory but quite interesting nonetheless. And yes,…

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  • The Most Alcoholic Professions

    Someone had to think about it. I had a textual conversation with my GM about our favorite ass flashing regular from this past Saturday and we spoke about how certain professions seem to be more prone to being booze bags than others. Most of this is no brainer territory but quite interesting nonetheless. And yes,…

  • Siesta!

    Yeah, most cities in Spain take a nice break in the middle of the day. The times vary but most businesses are closed for at least two hours. This will dawn on you, as it did to me, stepping out onto the Spanish streets, walking around a bunch, getting hungry, then hangry, and realizing nothing…

  • Full Moon Saturday in Santa Monica

    I got to see a grown man’s buttocks last night. Twice. Now, I have been know to practice proctology as a pastime, but I’ve been neglecting my homework and due to my own laziness haven’t been following up on all the latest medical jargon and scientific articles. So, excuse me when I’m unable to properly…

  • Until the Wheels Fall Off

    An old friend stopped by last night, a dude my age in the same boat. An artist masquerading as a restaurant worker (or maybe it’s the other way around). Married. Kids. Feeling the residual angst and weight of having worked in a restaurant for decades. Tired. Body failing. Wanting out, but unfortunately good at what…

  • The Non-Alcoholic Beverage Craze is a Sham

    Lately I’ve read a few articles where they gush about N/A bev programs. This guy is leading the pack, she’s got a book out about it. Yada, yada. “Oh man, I had the most amazing black rice and ground turtle shell boba with force carbonated burdock juice the other night.” Hate to break it to…

  • Bar Hack: Bananum

    Here we go. Daily blogging isn’t always sun and mai tais with your feet in the searing hot sand. Sometimes our still bare white asses have to share our well kept secrets in order to find grist for the mill (and keep the readers happy) or in this case, gist for the swill. Yes, yes,…

  • Rising Cocktail Prices

    It’s inevitable. At some point you’ll look back in your life like some old fogey and complain about prices. “Back in my day…” I remember this revelation quite well. The scene, my hometown bar, The Three Needs, the era, sometime in the late 90s. A pint of beer back then cost $3 and this was…

  • Enter the Negroni

    A family member told me there should be more bartending stuff in this blog for people who don’t know much about cocktails, so here we go. Number one: Cocktails beget other cocktails. There’s muddled history involved with each of them as well. Legend has it the Negroni came from a highball. What? The dude’s name,…

  • That Time I Was a GM: Part Two

    Behind my back, Jorge and the owner of the restaurant staged a coup against me. I was unaware, but they planned to hire a new GM and then shitcan my depressing ass. I had no aces up my sleeves. I did suspect some sort of foul play, however. For the interim, while they strung me…

  • That Time I Was a GM: Part One

    I sing of the general manager. The herald, the poor, unappreciated, downtrodden soul. Cracker of the whip. Builder of the schedule. Bearer of much weight upon troubled shoulders. The one with the forced smile whose ear bends to all the complaints in the restaurant issued from staff both front and back, guests, other managers, owners.…

  • New Cocktail: River Dance

    The best description I ever heard of bartending was in The PDT book (or maybe it was the original Death & Co.). Imagine this: You’re a short order cook, you take no orders from the server but directly from the customer (guest, whatever) and they, get this, can order almost whatever they want. In addition,…

  • Bar Hack: Lacto Tajin

    What is an aging bartender to do with a bunch of lacto blueberries except put them through the trusty robo, load them onto a tray, and then throw their weird salty little asses into the dehydrator? These puppies were placed into 2% brine and left to sit, by the way, and the big idea here…