The Aging Bartender

The Non-Alcoholic Beverage Craze is a Sham

Lately I’ve read a few articles where they gush about N/A bev programs. This guy is leading the pack, she’s got a book out about it. Yada, yada. “Oh man, I had the most amazing black rice and ground turtle shell boba with force carbonated burdock juice the other night.” Hate to break it to

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  • The Non-Alcoholic Beverage Craze is a Sham

    Lately I’ve read a few articles where they gush about N/A bev programs. This guy is leading the pack, she’s got a book out about it. Yada, yada. “Oh man, I had the most amazing black rice and ground turtle shell boba with force carbonated burdock juice the other night.” Hate to break it to…

  • Bar Hack: Bananum

    Here we go. Daily blogging isn’t always sun and mai tais with your feet in the searing hot sand. Sometimes or still bare white asses have to share our well kept secrets in order to find grist for the mill (and keep the readers happy) or in this case, jist for the swill. Yes, yes,…

  • Rising Cocktail Prices

    It’s inevitable. At some point you’ll look back in your life like some old fogey and complain about prices. “Back in my day…” I remember this revelation quite well. The scene, my hometown bar, The Three Needs, the era, sometime in the late 90s. A pint of beer back then cost $3 and this was…

  • Enter the Negroni

    A family member told me there should be more bartending stuff in this blog for people who don’t know much about cocktails, so here we go. Number one: Cocktails beget other cocktails. There’s muddled history involved with each of them as well. Legend has it the Negroni came from a highball. What? The dude’s name,…

  • That Time I Was a GM: Part Two

    Behind my back, Jorge and the owner of the restaurant staged a coup against me. I was unaware, but they planned to hire a new GM and then shitcan my depressing ass. I had no aces up my sleeves. I did suspect some sort of foul play, however. For the interim, while they strung me…

  • That Time I Was a GM: Part One

    I sing of the general manager. The herald, the poor, unappreciated, downtrodden soul. Cracker of the whip. Builder of the schedule. Bearer of much weight upon troubled shoulders. The one with the forced smile whose ear bends to all the complaints in the restaurant issued from staff both front and back, guests, other managers, owners.…

  • New Cocktail: River Dance

    The best description I ever heard of bartending was in The PDT book (or maybe it was the original Death & Co.). Imagine this: You’re a short order cook, you take no orders from the server but directly from the customer (guest, whatever) and they, get this, can order almost whatever they want. In addition,…

  • Bar Hack: Lacto Tajin

    What is an aging bartender to do with a bunch of lacto blueberries except put them through the trusty robo, load them onto a tray, and then throw their weird salty little asses into the dehydrator? These puppies were placed into 2% brine and left to sit, by the way, and the big idea here…

  • My First Dishwashing Job

    I followed an ad in the local paper. This place, The Windjammer, just up the street, was hiring a dishwasher for $5.25 an hour. $5.25 an hour! At my current job, counting cans and bottles at the redemption center, I made minimum wage, $4.25. This would be a huge upgrade and I wouldn’t have to…

  • New Cocktail: Guardian Angel

    Anyone reading this who currently lives in LA must be thinking about the little shake up we had last night. Over here, the damn dog started barking first, woke me up at 2 a.m., and seconds later our building wobbled around like a spastic slinky. More barking. Confusion. Other dogs on the street going wild.…

  • That Time I Worked at Red Lobster

    On summer vacation between my first and second year of college a good buddy of mine, Chad, told me to apply to a Red Lobster where he worked in the kitchen. “It’s pretty cool there,” he said. Desperate for beer money, I went in to speak to the general manager, this chickennecked guy named Will,…

  • Birth of the BBP

    The life of The Aging Bartender is not all glitz and glamour. The wise words of Yoda still ring true, “Adventure, excitement, a jedi craves not these things.” I suppose I could steal that for my benefit, twist it around a bit. How about, “Adventure, excitement, The Aging Bartender neither craves nor has the energy…